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Us humans are clever things, well on the whole. But sometimes, we can get it wrong and this is especially obvious when it comes to our thoughst, or rather, how we identify with our thoughts in a harmful unconscious way.  

When we strongly identify with our thoughts/feelings and we believe that what we feel is the truth of a situation, we can act in ways that negativey impact our connection to other people, and the connection to yourselves.

Ever had it when you feel insecure in a relationship and you convince yourself that your partner no longer loves you or feels the same way? Maybe they spent longer than usual replying to a message or they seemed distance after a hard day at work. Our brain can play tricks on us sometimes. Maybe our parents were distance or we exeperieced abuse or neglect in our early years so our minds are super-vigilant to any change in behavour from others. The feelings we may feel at the time are not relevant to what is happening in our current situation, and here our minds are operating on ‘ high alert’ a bit like a  CCTV camera scanning for danger.  

This high-alert energy can play havoc on our nervous system and our heart-rate, and if we are not careful, many of us will find ourselves acting on these thoughts and feelings which can then create serious issues and misunderstandings in our relationships. We become reactive to certain situations and may say and do things that we later regret once our nervours system has calmed down and we are ‘back in our hearts’.

When we are reactive and triggered, our nervous system is usually in over-drive and we are caught up with whatever is going on in our heads taking it as the absolute truth.  

But there is another way to exist in the world that offers a more compassionate way of relating to ourselves and to others  and this is known as Heart Consciousness. I first came across this concept after reading How to be the Love You Seek by DR Nicole Lepera and since then, I have become a massive advocate!

Heart consciousness is all about tuning into the energy of your heart and tapping into its limitless energy of compassion and kindness.  Yes, it’s a thing! Once we start to feel rather than always think, we can connect more with our initution and our awareness. We become more present and grounded and can connect from a place of love and not fear.  

The organs in our body all play an amazing role in creating energy and working together. We naturally tend to think that it is our brain that performs the biggest role when it comes to navigating emotions and creating connection and energy to others but actually, our dear old hearts are major players in regulating mood and connection.

Ever notice that when you feel in a state of panic, your heart beat speeds up? Flipping that on its head, when you feel calm, your heart beat is calm too! Not only is our heart a reflection of our emotional state, it can also determine our emotional wellbeing too.  

How?  

The extent at which our heart influences our body and mind are extremely complex. It can do so by manipulating our heart rate and blood pressure, by sending neuronal signals to the brain. One such hormone is atrial natriuretic peptide (ANP). ANP has been shown to have many effects such as the decrease of sympathetic outflow (calming our nervous system) and the inhibition of stress related hormones meaning it has the direct ability to create a calmer state of being.  

So how do we explore our hearts consciousness? It really is quite simple!

We can start by tapping into the resources of our heart by creating positive emotions for ourselves like appreciation, gratitude, compassion, care and love. Not only does tapping into positive emotions harmonise our hearts rhythm, it also calms down our nervous system. Winning!  

We live such busy city lives, often bouncing from thing to another, add ADHD into the mix and those bounces are more like back-to-front star jumps! It really helps to take a moment during the day and ‘check-in’ with yourself. You can do this simply by asking yourself ‘how am I feeling right now, what do I need?’ Sometimes, it might be something as simple as a glass of water or some quiet time.  

Here are some other gentle ways that I connect to my heart that may help you too:

⦁ Breath and listen. Place your hand over your heart and focus on your breathing. Notice how your chest rises and falls with each breath. Stay like this for a moment and a feeling of peace will wash over you.  

⦁ Write down the things that made you smile during your day. The practice of gratitude is really beautiful as it can remind us of all the things we have to be happy about. It can be big things like a new job, or small every-day things like smiling and chatting with a neighbour or going to bed feeling safe and secure. I like to read back through my gratitude journal when I am feeling low as it reminds me of all the things that make me happy.

⦁ Listen to positive affirmations. Trust me, these do work. You will find your mood changes over time when you start telling it something better! The better it gets, the better it gets! You Tube is a good place to start.  

⦁ Smiling at dogs. Okay, I added this one just for fun, but hey, it does actually work for me!

⦁ Be present and try to embrace eye -contact. I know this is not easy for ADHDers but by really looking at someone, you will feel their presence so much more and your hearts will connect on a deeper level. Hypnotherapy is great for people with ADHD who are looking to be more present in the world. It worked wonders for me.

Once we start to really feel into our heart, the centre of our body, we open ourselves up to a deeper connection with ourselves and with other people, and during these crazy uncertain times, what could be better than really feeling the love for ourselves and for our friends, our partner, family and community.  

Love Anna x